Tuesday, 5 February 2013

Taliban acquire Drone technology

"We have acquired the Drones and intend to use them as soon as possible. We will show a demonstration at 5pm." These were the words of a Taliban spokesperson at a hastily organized press conference.
The statement sent tremors down the spine of U.S. Secretary of Defence Leon Panetta, who reportedly had to change pants after hearing the news.
Red Alert security was ordered at U.S. Embassies around the world.
Senior defence analysts, Zaid Hamid said he was not surprised by the news. "Not only do they have drone technology, they are also investing in Nucleur warheads, very soon you'll hear about them as well," Hamid said while playfully adjusting his signature red beret. "Pakistan Army is considering acquiring these drones as well as they might come in handy in case of a war against India."
Newly appointed U.S. Secretary, John Kerry, of state flew to North Korea, the rogue nation thought to be behind the sale of the technology to Taliban.
"We are trying to track the source of the technology, either its North Korea, Iran or Syria," General John Allen remarked during a TV interview, before cutting the interview short and leaving for Florida after receiving a "flirtatious" text message.
Meanwhile, U.S. drones have bombarded 16 places in Pakistan, Afghanistan and Syria in order to "wipe out command centers for the drones". Numerous casualties are reported.

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Update (6pm): It turns out that the Taliban had defined the drone technology a bit too broadly. The drone launch did take place at 5pm but as the picture below shows, they'll need a bigger aircraft to cause any serious damage.