Tuesday, 31 July 2012

Taliban expresses delight over reopening of NATO supplies

Taliban commanders celebrated the reopening of the NATO supply route by Pakistan by performing their local Sheedi dance and firing into the skies. Smuggling goods from NATO supplies has been the source of riches for many Taliban commanders.
"Life had come to a halt," explains Itwaar Khan, a Taliban commander  posted in the Paktia province. "Jumma had to postpone his wedding because the army suits were not available due to the blockage."
Zameeruddin found other reasons to be happy. "Our beards were turning white due to the paucity of Garnier hair colour. It gave the people the impression that we were growing older and would not be around for long." He even says that he had written a letter to the US suppliers to provide brown hair colour as well as red one in order to allow camouflage opportunities with clay mountains in the background.
The smuggling has caused major problems for US military personnel. A Mr. James complained that gunpowder is stolen and replaced with niswar, causing the guns' aim to be wobbly. The smuggled goods are said to cost the US Army $1 billion per month.

Friday, 6 July 2012

Amir Liaquat back on GEO

The main "antagonist" in the video "Real face of Amir Liaquat" has returned to GEO TV once again. Liaquat started off from GEO in 2002 but in 2010 he took over as Director of ARY TV. After leaving GEO, Liaquat  criticized the channel on numerous occasions. GEO has been equally critical of Liaquat which was evident from the fact that an ad of Meezan Cooking Oil featuring "Doctor sahab" was not allowed to air until Liaquat's portion was trimmed.
Then in 2011, after the infamous video leak, Liaquat went out and openly criticized GEO TV for character assassination. He also mentioned that it was his TRP that GEO was jealous of.
After such allegation, it was surprising to see Liaquat's face once again on GEO TV. Not only is he back, a whole video featuring Liaquat is being aired on GEO and its sister channels. 
Both Liaquat and GEO TV are to blame for the separation and reunion. 

Tuesday, 12 June 2012

Malik Riaz returns to Pakistan

Malik Riaz, the central character in Arslan Iftikhar suo moto case returned to Pakistan amid speculation about what "evidence" he would present in the Supreme  Court. "These bags you see, they are all the evidence I will present in court," Riaz pointed towards the 3 briefcases and 1 handbag he was carrying while talking to the journalists at the airport.
Riaz looked fit, showing no sign of health issues that he allegedly been getting treatment for in London.
Next day, Riaz stormed into the Supreme Court, carrying the same baggage and "no-commenting" journalist questions. Inside the court, Malik Riaz opened the first briefcase and took out Swiss chocolates, "Pure ecstasy, no one makes them better than the Swiss." From the second briefcase, he brandished a collector's pre-release edition of the Dark Knight Rises. Riaz was about to open the third briefcase, when the CJ asked him to stop. "What rubbish is this?"
To this Riaz replied, "Evidence my lord. That's what Arsalan demanded that I bring from London." To this claim Arslan replied, "this is just a pack of lies. I demanded Dark Knight Rises's BluRay disc with the cast's commentary."
Later in the day, Riaz addressed a press conference, which began with the recitation of the Quran and then a 10-minute documentary on Bahria Town. Riaz asked 3 question from the public. 
1: Was he pulling off the clean shaven look?
2: Was the documentary 5 minutes too long?
3: What is a BluRay disc?
Meanwhile, in the late night shows speculation was rife about the contents of the third briefcase. "The briefcase contained Hussain Haqqani's Blackberry set," was Shahid Masood's opinion. "The briefcase had files for plots of Bahria Town Phase 5," the Bahria Town administration stated after which the likes of Nazir Naji were seen contacting the property tycoon.

Friday, 4 May 2012

Rohrabacher calls Pakistan a failed state

Dana Rohrabacher, the man who came into media limelight after his views on freeing Balochistan, has set the media ablaze once again by calling Pakistan a failed state. This allegedly has been said in a letter to Pakistan's PM Yousaf Raza Gilani. 


Now I do not understand what Mr. Rohrabacher's criteria is for judging when a state fails. It is a fact that Mr. Rohrabacher voted NO on the bill for supporting Pakistan's democratic institutions in 2009. He voted YES on keeping sanctions on Syria in 2007 in the case that Syria did not do away with its WMDs whereas he voted YES to supporting India as a nucleur power. 


Now one does not need to be a psychiatrist to notice the duality in Mr. Rohrabacher's statements. His arguments are as stupid as his name. Firstly he does not support the U.S. government when it wants to support Pakistan's democratic institutions and then calls Pakistan a failed state. Then he supports the US in approving  the former's nuclear technology. How the hell does he think that Pakistan will prosper when this goon, Rohrabacher is approving India's nuclear technology, giving Pakistan's army chief even more reason to increase defense spending and reducing money spend on infrastructure and welfare?


His double standards are also apparent in the fact that he supports India in obtaining nuclear weapons and wants sanctions on Syria for its WMDs (Iraq Part II). What is India going to use its Nuclear technology for? For cooking foods?

Wednesday, 25 April 2012

Is it game over for Gilani?


Finally after months of political bickering and legal banter, we have arrived at the decisive eve. Tomorrow (26th April), Chief Justice Iftikhar will announce the verdict in the contempt of court proceedings against Pakistan's Prime Minister Yousaf Raza Gilani.
Gilani became PM in 2008 when parliament elected him unanimously. It would be safe to say that pre-June 2011, Gilani was an "acceptable" PM to opposition parties as well as to the allies of the PPP. Sure, there were the cases in which his son was involved, but majority of the time, Gilani would take the trip to Raiwind to placate the Sharifs. In 2010, when the government-judiciary tussle over the appointment of Lahore High Court CJ was going on, Gilani went to a dinner hosted by the judges to diffuse tension. 
Rumor has it that Gilani would be sentenced tomorrow with the added chance of being disqualified as well. Well, I do not know what is going to happen, but whatever happens, the PPP would try to use it to their advantage. The "Siasi Shaheed" card would most definitely come into play.
To me, Gilani was a fine PM. Corrupt, maybe, but not as nefarious and uncaring as his boss, President Zardari. Gilani disagreed with Zardari on many occasions, and in 2009 there was also talk of him being replaced.
If Gilani is disqualified, a new cabinet will be formed. Expect target killing in Karachi to increase as ANP and MQM tough it out in order to decide to gets more seats, or even the slot of the PM, if Zardari so pleases. 

Wednesday, 14 March 2012

Rehman Malik's "juvenile" explanation

 Every time I write a post about our honourable Interior Minister, I make sure that I'm not letting my emotions get the better of me. But this time, it was impossible to do so. Mr. Rehman Malik is back with another of his "genuine" explanations. We thought, he couldnt top the "girlfriends and wives behind Target killing in Karachi" explanation, but I guess we were wrong.
When asked by a reporter, why was there a need to lower the age of responsibility from 17 to 12, Mr Malik answered: "Pakistani children eat curry, that leads to juvenile crime." 
Honestly, I can't believe how this man provides such answers with a straight face. With youtube filled with Islamabadi, Lahori debate, I'm surprised no one uploaded the video: Sh%&t Rehman Malik says. I'm also surprised why the reporters stopped at that. When they had got hold of Rehman "Baba", they should have inquired him for an explanation for Zulfiqar Mirza's disappearance, Veena Malik's antics, Firdous Ashiq Awan's cry-athon and King Z's $60 million in Switzerland.

Tuesday, 10 January 2012

CJ takes Government to the cleaners


It was that time of the year when we all were looking for a cosy spot in the room to take a nap, when BAM! The CJ of Pakistan comes out, all guns blazing against the Government. The reason: Non implementation of the NRO verdict. If you do some sole searching, you will realize that it has been more than two years since the verdict was handed out, and ONE aspect was never dealt with, King Z's cases in Switzerland. That is what has angered the CJ and he has decided to give a Multiple Choice Question (MCQ) to the Government which reminds me of the O & A Level days. The Government has to be careful because there can be more than one correct answers.